yes.

the most hardcore thing ever

"awful" [original song]

i am sick and tired of hearing your voice
crashing up like waves
i just can't surface
every time i take a stand
you leave me no choice
but to shut back up
and shut back in
'cause you are the victim here
well
it isn't clear

'cause honestly
there is no way
to possibly escape today
as much as i want to leave this moment
it's always your voice inside my head saying:

i'm an awful person
no one cares
i am awful
simply terrible
don't you dare
come near

lalalalalalalalalkjasdlfkjasdf19

so i'm thinking i'm gonna do battle of the bands. it's this thingie at my school where all you need is an original song, a recording of it, and appropriate lyrics. they air your track on the school radio or whatever, and if enough people like it, you get a) recognition, b) a gift certificate to this music store, and c) a free music video filmed by the school's video production class to go along w/ your song featuring YOU (so i could totally do without this last option, but a gift certificate and recognition doesn't sound so bad if you ask me).

so i'm thinking i should totally do it. i already printed the sign-up sheet and everything, and i think i have till dec. 12th. i don't have to do it right away, and i could procrastinate until the last minute, like i do w/ everything else, because there are totally so many reasons why i should NOT do it:

• my songs aren't that good
• my songs are effing short
• my songs suck
• my songs are lame
• my songs are emo
• i'm really not a solo artist. i usually play guitar/ drum for other people/bands
• i'm probably gonna end up embarassing myself

but then again, i'm bored, no one's hired me for a job yet, french tutoring hasn't started yet (I'M EFFING EXCITED FOR IT, $20/HR!!), i'm frickin depressed, i need something to do.

so maybe i'll just do it.

on december 12th.

p.s. another thing that's been bothering me. my family needs to stop thinking that i don't eat/i'm anorexic/you're too skinny/you need to eat meat 'because it's the only way you'll get your protein' crap they dish out to me every day. first of all, it's getting old. second of all, i eat. I EAT, OKAY. YES, I EAT PIZZA. I EAT RICE. I EAT PASTA. I EAT GOOEY BROWNIES. I EAT BURRITOS. I EAT MORE PIZZA. I EAT CRAPPY MAC AND CHEESE. I EAT AND EAT AND EAT. MAYBE IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT MY METAB IS FASTER THAN YOURS AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STOP EATING 120930 SERVINGS OF CRAP SO THAT YOU'LL FINALLY GET OFF MY EFFING CASE.

it bores/annoys/ticks me off to oodly bits whenever i visit a fam member's house and like the proper filipino relative that they are (this is actually a rather important fact, and if you're filipino you'll totally get what i'm talking about when it comes to food/etiquette regarding food), automatically assume i'm anorexic or something because i'm a vegetarian/naturally skinny. maybe the reason i don't want to eat your greasy fried rice right now is because i just pigged out on chips and brown sugar like half an hour before i just came to your house. please.

i am so pissed off right now.

how to become a youtube celebrity

post up a vid and hope people click on it.


"if this is life" words/lyrics by me


http://www.youtube.com/user/fattyacidsbabeh

happy belated thanksgiving.

my 2 new addictions

1. job hunting
2.

right when i was gonna chop my own head off...

...i stumbled into relient k's new video for 'sleigh ride'.

and although it's nowhere near christmas yet, it hasn't started snowing even in this little town of londonderry, and i just about had the crappiest day today (yes, another one...shocker) when my mom told me i couldn't go to boston to visit my sister for the 3-day weekend, i don't have a job yet, i can't drive, i had way too much homework to finish everything tonight, and everything else generally sucks 'mega-bag',

this song just put a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach and made me forget about it all.

until i just mentioned it all again in this post.



Relient K - Sleigh Ride from gotee on Vimeo.